Q. Is this a vanity project?
A. Everything’s a vanity project for me.
Q. Is that your real (hair/eyelids/bone structure)?
A. That is between me, two plastic surgeons, three filler techs, a gloriously discreet hairdresser for whom I would take a bullet, and Twitter if I feel like oversharing.
Q. Why are you so (reclusive/flippant/hostile/gorgeous)?
A. Scorpio, baby.
Q. Why did you mute/block me on Twitter?
A. You either said one really offensive thing or a few tedious ones.